Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Weeks 12 + 13: Kollwitz, Rilke and Dinesen (Blixen)...

...And in this week's blog, more Passion than Reason:


Käthe Kollwitz: Prints and Drawings (1898-1835)

Letters to a Young Poet - Rainer Maria Rilke (1903-1908)


Babette's Feast - Isak Dinesen (Karen Blixen) (1958)












KATHE KOLLWTIZ
Kollwitz’s art is suffused with examples of agony, suffering and tension. Her art is that of the soul, a soul in such sorrow that it’s seeking to escape the boundaries that keep it body-bound. As such, nothing from the “outside” can comfort the soul. Think of this as a consequence of living in a material world where two souls can never meet, only pass each other by. This speaks to our alienation from each other. Rilke describes Love, the most intimate, personal and perfect Love, as consisting of “two solitudes [that] protect and border and greet each other.” (p.78). Like two separate worlds in orbit around each other, they can never truly meet and be one.

Kollwitz’s art shows the solitude inherent in experiencing deep grief. One can feel the hollowness of the person in pain and how she is stripped of all that once mattered to her. In the face of such despair, she is utterly alone and has only herself to depend on. In such instances, to seek lasting comfort from an exterior source would bring further disappointment. Personally faced with this, the reality of the exterior world is exposed as the illusion it is.

Kollwitz’s art is a study of how emotional grief is carried by the body. Although the source and the weight come from within the subject, the physical burden of the pain is palpable to the observer. The statue version of “The Parents”, below, shows the differences in how the mother and the father carry their grief. The father, closed off with arms crossed, holds his sadness to himself. He is determined not to show what he’s feeling, as some might expect a “typical man” to do. His chin’s to chest as though he is trying hard to keep from bawling, while the mother shows that the void in her chest may cause her to keel over.



Now here are two versions of a woodcut version of “The Parents”. Although the message in each is similar, the feeling I get from one is different from the other. I prefer the first (below) because of its harder lines, especially those on the mother’s back, over her heart. These particular lines (more than in the other version) seem to express her heartbrokenness, and her weight is more palpably supported by her husband’s hand; he is supporting her weight more completely than in the second version, as you might expect the statue version of the father to do. In the second woodcut, the parents seem to be more melded together. The harder lines in the first indicate that even though they are so close together, they are entirely separate and alone. Kollwitz’s move from lithography to woodcuts is understandable since the definition of the lines in wood etchings stress the outer edges of individuals. For instance, compare the woodcut “Mothers” here, http://www.greatwar.nl/kollwitz/kollwitzmothers.html to her other drawings. One can see that even in groups, these women are, like us all, now and in the end, alone.






Mother and Dead Child. http://www.artnet.com/artwork/184746/421/woman-with-dead-child.html What is the first thing that strikes you about this? Yes, the mother is nude, everything else stripped away. Through her grief, she is brought to the essence of herself, to the most fundamental and most basic feeling she has ever had to endure. At least that’s what I felt. From her bearing and the direction of her pining, I also felt as though she is trying with all her might to pass her own life on to her child. This is a birth and death engraving.

The other noticeable, if not disturbing, aspect is that we cannot make out her face. What we are able to see doesn’t appear human. Would you want to see her face, though? Can such grief even be shared between two individuals? Such intense, irreparable anguish cannot be soothed from anything external. It can hardly be expressed in words, never mind be comforted. I heard this on CBC radio once and thought that this haunting music came close to expressing such pain: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymuF7uG6wis&feature=related

Anyway, on the flip side of the same note, it is the gazes of some of Kollwitz’s subjects that are most evocative of all. Here are examples of some very expressive faces:

- Killed in action: http://picasaweb.google.com/revswain/KollwitzKathe#5414547910363434770

- Germany’s children are starving: http://picasaweb.google.com/revswain/KollwitzKathe#5328356347882879874

- Bread: http://artsearch.nga.gov.au/Detail-LRG.cfm?View=LRG&IRN=645&PICTAUS=TRUE
- Prisoners listening to music: http://www.masterworksfineart.com/inventory/2748


- Death seizes a woman: http://picasaweb.google.com/revswain/KollwitzKathe#5292443231439985938


Perhaps Kollwitz saw her subjects’ suffering as beautiful because any emotion that is so pure is beautiful in its authenticity. The feelings she captured and tried to replicate in her art are not at all veiled by convention. This is precisely what Rilke was trying to capture in himself. He needed solitude to tap into his pure, authentic self. Indisputably, the depth of grief her works portray is on a fundamentally individual – not collective – level. Witnessing its manifest veracity is beautiful.


RAINER MARIA RILKE
Let’s quickly compare Rilke (1905) to Oscar Wilde (1890). Although Letters to a Young Poet and The Portrait of Dorian Gray were written within fifteen years of each other, the philosophies on which they are based could not be more divergent. “The artist is the creator of beautiful things. To reveal art and conceal the artist is art’s aim” (preface, Dorian Gray). Rilke would have agreed that the artist creates beauty but I think he would have argued that the artist himself is so personally and emotionally involved with his art that it would be impossible for him to conceal himself even if he wanted to. As he says, “…you will see in [your poems] as your dear natural possession, a piece of your life, a voice from it. A work of art is good if it has arisen out of necessity” (p.9). To create beauty just for the sake of beauty (Wilde’s aesthetic philosophy) doesn’t necessarily arise out of necessity. Think of what Babette said at the end of Babette’s Feast (read below…): “Through all the world there goes one long cry from the heart to the artist: ‘Give me leave to do my utmost!’” Sometimes it’s necessary, one way or another, to practice one’s art. Do you think Picasso could have done anything but paint?

Rilke is more concerned with feelings as opposed to the superficial 19th century aesthetic movement that Wilde was a part of. To give only two examples, Rilke feels the emotion of some poems that Mr Kappus sends him without being able to describe it. Only after Mr Kappus more fully expresses himself in the letter (presumably describing something about his life) is Rilke able to understand and articulate the source of what he was feeling… (p.5 “Your kind letter, which accompanied them, managed to make clear to me various faults that I felt in reading your verses, though I am not able to name them specifically"). The other example, (p.105), where Rilke considers the news of Mr Kappus: At first it “seems to be good news and the longer I thought it over, the more I felt that it was very good news indeed”. It’s as if his decisions came about by a grand synthesis where he weighed both his gut feeling and his reason.

I sometimes wonder whether anyone can live without Google at their fingertips. It gives people the best of both worlds: isolation and the internet. However, there is no possibility for growth in such a set-up because one is still dialed-in to social networking and “the entire world” at all times. There is no space or opportunity to look within. Rilke might have commented on how sad it is that instead of looking within, we seek affirmation and acceptance from everyone and everything except ourselves. He’d see this as the “easy way” and therefore not worth doing: “almost everything serious is difficult; and everything is serious.” (p.35).

Rilke’s philosophy on living plainly and clearly is reminiscent of Marcus Aurelius’, especially in that Rilke uses Nature as an example: As he sees plants and animals: “patiently and willingly uniting and multiplying and growing, not out of physical pleasure, not out of physical pain, but bowing to necessities that are greater than pleasure and pain, and more powerful than will and withstanding. If only human beings could more humbly receive this mystery…” (p.37). All beings bow to necessities, difficult as these necessities may be, as though Nature’s natural unfolding is Art itself.

Like the sublime workings of Nature, when art is striven for and attained, a grand sublimation of emotion takes place. Since emotion is beyond words, it makes sense: Look at Kollwitz’s work - it’s incommunicable; Rilke is looking for the same emotion in the form of poetry. I’m again reminded of Gaston Bachelard’s quote of what poetry is - “The great function of poetry is to give the situation of our dreams.” Bachlard philosophizes about tender memories from the home he grew up in. Rilke would have agreed with him: The spaces in which one spends one’s childhood are sacred, and the external symbols “are internalized and thereby re-created into something existing both within and without. The environment is then a visible consciousness that parallels the inner consciousness”.

He cherishes his childhood memories and takes a maternal approach to his own creative process. I remember something I once saw written on a bar wall, and its beauty stuck with me ever since. I found the line so beautiful because it recognized that one can fashion one’s own fantasies into memories, and can reconcile not achieving all of the many childhood dreams one had:
“The dreams of my youth have become memories”.
Depending on your attitude, this can be beautifully melancholy or depressingly so.

BABETTE’S FEAST
Babette’s Feast is beautifully melancholic. Of all the books this term, this short story has to be one of my favourites. I wonder where the discussion for this book will take us in class. Its themes parallel those considered in other works this semester, for example those of appearances, social mores, authenticity, spirituality, blindness, Nature, illusions, authority, vanity…
The setting of the story is “at the foot of the mountains [in a] small town of Berlevaag [that] looks like a child’s toy-town…” (p.23), as though “bastilled” by Nature, to use Wollstonecraft’s expression of a Norwegian town she once observed. In this town, Babette herself lives a life of solitude, never once mentioning her being an artist. At the end of the book, she tells her friends, (p.67) “…I shall never be poor… I am a great artist. A great artist, Mesdames, is never poor. We have something, Mesdames, of which other people know nothing” a space within that nobody can touch. “Through all the world there goes one long cry from the heart to the artist: ‘Give me leave to do my utmost!’” (p.68)

It seems that those who understand or at least recognize this depth within, this source of creativity, are able to live more deeply without, in all meanings of that word. They can live without want, and can see the exterior world as it is: overrun with mere trivialities. Moreover, they can truly experience the outside world (the world without) without getting caught up in its pettiness. They see beyond the superficial, beyond what is an inch from their eyes, and can look deep.
Young Lorens, upon seeing Martine (p.26): “There rose before his eyes a sudden and mighty vision of a higher and purer life…” This is his gut reaction to this woman but he feels unworthy of her, possibly because he has no love for himself. As Rilke might have said, Lorens had dirty, undefined edges at the boundaries of his solitude, his being. “He loathed and despised the figure which he himself cut in her nearness. Tender words stuck in his throat as he looked in the maiden’s face…” (p.27). There is often difficulty and resistance to being completely honest and open with someone and to look them directly in the eyes. Perhaps this difficulty arises from the fear of what will be revealed of ourselves: In being intimate with others, we see a mirror of ourselves with all our faults and potentials. This can be terrifying.
However, Lorens “pulls himself together” (p. 27) [p.57 “For how is a man to behave when he cannot trust his senses? It is better to be drunk than mad.”] and becomes the man that Ivan Ilych was. Decades later, Lorens makes the sad realization that “all is vanity!” (p.52), “in what had been profited? Somewhere something had been lost.” (p.53)

He would let the youth prove to him once and for all, that thirty-one years ago he had made the right choice.” This line reminds me of my grandmother who moved from Slovenia in the 1960s. To this day, she insists that life is (now) better in Canada and that she made the right decision. (Many Slovenian relatives of mine disagree given that she laboured physically for decades in Canada and left a relatively comfortable life in Ljubljana…) Now, whenever she has any visitors from Slovenia, she seeks confirmation that she made the right choice. Recently, less than a week after a relative of mine visited, one of the first questions my grandmother asked her was, “Where is life better, in Slovenia or in Canada?(!)”


Clearly something very special starts to happen during the course of Babette’s feast: “They only knew that the rooms had been filled with a heavenly light, as if a number of small halos had blended into one glorious radiance. Taciturn old people received the gift of tongues; ears that for years had been almost deaf were opened to it. Time itself had merged into eternity.” (p.61). I’m sure the diners did not want the evening to end and I, as a reader, felt the same way.

What touched me most was the idyllic scene Dinesen paints in setting up the dinner itself. She is setting up what could be considered the diners’ highlight of their twilight years. The outside December scene is fantastically Christmassy. p.54 -“Large snowflakes fell densely; behind the sledge the tracks were wiped out quickly. General Loewenhielm sat immovable by the side of his aunt, his chin sunk in the high fur collar of his coat.” Babette’s feast is a Biblical affair, complete with twelve guests. This writing and the ending of this story was reminiscent of Joyce’s moving and final paragraph in his short story The Dead:

A few light taps upon the pane made him turn to the window. It had begun to snow again. He watched sleepily the flakes, silver and dark, falling obliquely against the lamplight. The time had come for him to set out on his journey westward. Yes, the newspapers were right: snow was general all over Ireland. It was falling on every part of the dark central plain, on the treeless hills, falling softly upon the Bog of Allen and, farther westward, softly falling into the dark mutinous Shannon waves. It was falling, too, upon every part of the lonely churchyard on the hill where Michael Furey lay buried. It lay thickly drifted on the crooked crosses and headstones, on the spears of the little gate, on the barren thorns. His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Reflections: Weeks 10 + 11


Reflections: Week 10 + 11

Frankenstein - Mary Shelley
The Death of Ivan Ilych - [(Spoiler alert: He dies)] - Leo Tolstoy


Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
The Awakening - Kate Chopin


If our sciences are vain in the objects they have in view, they are even more dangerous in the effects they produce.” (Rousseau)

While reading Frankenstein, I was reminded of the first choral ode in Antigone which states that "[Man] lacks resources for nothing the future can bring / Only from death can he devise no escape". In a way, Frankenstein's life-creating discovery is an important step towards devising such an escape. The quote is just one of countless snippets from this course’s readings that could be applied to Frankenstein. Take your pick, this book touches upon issues ranging from "the crapshoot of having kids" to "the folly of science". This book's beginnings are a bit of a soap opera. Most people know that Mary Shelley started this book in Switzerland as a result of a friendly writing competition between friends. Lord Byron hosted the gathering in Diodati where gloomy weather kept everyone indoors. Without Facebook, they were forced to apply themselves toward something creative and constructive. What is not so well known is how they all came to assemble there. Apparently, Lord Byron (a playboy) invited Mary and Percy only because Claire (Mary's half-sister who wanted to spend more time with Lord Byron), promised to bring Mary and Percy if she could visit him in Diodati. Had Claire not promised to bring the daughter of the famous Mary Wollstonecraft, Claire probably would not have been invited because Byron had grown tired of her.

The magnificent views from the villa in Diodati were inspiring to Shelley, and Frankenstein is full of the effects that nature can have on one's psyche. The philosophy of the Sublime was a popular theme of the day and describes nature as a mixture of "horror and harmony". I imagine that for many at the time, the immense vistas they experienced in nature were new to them. They didn’t have the huge-screen cinemas that assault, toy with and therefore dull our senses. In leaving the cities and hiking in the Swiss Alps, for example, the immense depths and distances perceived, the contrasts in perspective must have been so new to their sight that the vast panoramas might easily have been terrifying. That the Sublime includes the an element of horror reminds me of feelings that one can be overcome with when standing near a cliff's edge... the horror combined with the sense of freedom. What if I jump? What if I lose all sense of reason for one split second and hurl myself off the edge?
p. 97 “The sight of the awful and majestic in nature had indeed always the effect of solemnizing my mind, and causing me to forget the passing cares of life.

One obvious theme is that of man's hubris in exploring science without consideration of its consequences. Knowing too much too fast can be dangerous, and maybe there are things we should not know or be exposed to. (Manhattan Project comes to mind). Forget about the impact of scientific endeavours for a second, but what about their utility? Should we spend billions of dollars at CERN while people are still dying of cholera, polio, malaria, AIDS…?

It can be fascinating to watch life unfold before you in a petri plate, but remember Candide: “Legs were obviously instituted in order to wear breeches, and hence we have breeches…” Just because some species of Malayan kumquats native to a section of land "x" near the coast of "y" produces antioxidant "z" doesn't mean that thousands upon thousands of dollars should be invested towards their study (although if I were a scientist employed as a result of this I might think differently).

Frankenstein’s obsession with Science opened the door to his downfall:
p.56 “…a human being in perfection ought always to preserve a calm and peaceful mind and never to allow passion or a transitory desire to disturb his tranquility... if this rule were observed…Caesar would have spared his country; America would have been discovered more gradually; and the empires of Mexico and Peru had not been destroyed…” “…I appeared rather like one doomed by slavery to toil in the mines, or any other unwholesome trade…the energy of my purpose alone sustained me…” Science has taken him over! Not only is science being criticized here, but also the way it is being pursued.

Frankenstein, from his youth, judges based on appearances: Mr Krempe: “…was a little squat man, with a scruff voice and a repulsive countenance; the teacher, therefore, did not prepossess me in favour of his pursuits.”

Some of language really got to me, too; I loved the way Shelley described certain scenes (they were very reminscent of her mother's descriptions of nature and emotions):

p.136 COLD nature - “The cold stares shone in mockery and the bare trees waved their branches above me…”
p. 138 - “…in my hovel in a state of utter and stupid despair.” “I lighted the dry branch of a tree, and danced with fury around the devoted cottage, my eyes still fixed on the western horizon, the edge of which the moon nearly touched.” To me this conjured the idea of some pagan rite performed by someone very close to Nature.
p. 146 - Image very much like that of Rousseau’s natural man: “We shall make our bed of dried leaves; the sun will shine on us as on man, and will ripen our food. The picture I present to you is peaceful and human.” From Discourse on the Origins of Inequality: (p.40) - (of man in his natural state): “I see him satisfying his hunger under and oak tree, quenching his thirst at the first stream, finding his bed at the foot of the same tree that supplied his meal; and thus all his needs are satisfied.”
p. 139 - “Unfeeling, heartless creator! You had endowed me with perceptions and passions, and then cast me abroad an object for the scorn and horror of mankind.” Is Shelley talking to her father, here? What did Freud make of this book?
p. 168 - “Beware; for I am fearless, and therefore powerful.”

No matter which of myriad themes in Frankenstein you choose to consider, they all converge on the perennial questions asked by the monster (p.128), “My person was hideous, and my stature gigantic: what did this mean? Who was I? What was I? Whence did I come? What was my destination?" I’ll have the answers to these in the next blog.

TOLSTOY
We've considered many books that prescribe ways to live, but not ways to die. This frightening short story (which I enjoyed very much) would be a good place to start.
Rousseau mentioned that the older we get the more steadfastly we cling to life, perhaps for the simple reason that we grow more attached to life and that living is all we know. Tolstoy, when still young, willingly went to war knowing that he may die, but in his later years he met with an existential crisis that changed his entire outlook. The crisis centered on the horror of death and its aftermath and one comes to terms with them.

All creatures die, but unlike animals we have a keen awareness of our eventual end and this alone can fill us with terror. At such times we take account of our lives. How did I live? Can I die comfortably remembering my past?

The symbolism of Ivan Ilych's illness itself runs deep: It cannot be diagnosed: His kidney is floating, (it is displaced just like his "heart" is). Another diagnosis is that there's something wrong with his appendix, (a vestigial organ). At one point he mentions that his heart is in his appendix; at the point of his death, his heart had become as vestigial as his heart.
Ivan Ilych lives a very inhuman life until he learns that he is going to die; only then does he begin to taste reality and to have revelations that he comes to wish he had had earlier in life.

The first line of the second chapter sums up the life of the average person who believes the same illusions as Ilych: “Ivan Ilych's life had been most simple and most ordinary and therefore most terrible". One classmate’s Russian friend summed up the message of the book in saying that one should not focus on the routines of life; these are illusions, meaningless, useless and fake.

What I found so interesting was that the doctors in the book perpetuate these illusions in their patient. That his doctor will not tell him the truth is very telling of his culture (although, apparently such was the case in North America until relatively recently, the 1960s!)

Basically, Ivan wanted to be pitied: he wanted assurance that he would be missed, that life wouldn’t be exactly the same with him gone. He was looking for affirmation that his life actually mattered and wanted to be consoled like a child. This, in stark contrast to him as a VIP in society.

Only two people, Ivan’s son and the peasant helper Gerasim, show compassion for the dying man… and while approaching death, Ivan realizes that he has not shown compassion to others in his lifetime.
Gerasim movements around Ilych are angelic. He appears as if from the sky (the converse of this being Ivan’s very “world-and-society-bound” widow: “A short fat woman who, despite every effort to the contrary, had continued a steady sidewise expansion from top to bottom.”) and he tiptoes gracefully around Ivan and comforts him more than anyone else.

At the time of the book’s writing, some philosophized that society should “learn from the peasants.” Tolstoy agreed with this philosophy and here it is applied in the down-to-earth character, Gerasim.


Much like Mary Shelley and her mother Mary's prose got to me, so did many lines from The Death Of Ivan Ilych. Most lines were memorable for their power of expression:
The "heaviest" examples of the power of the language:
p. 27 - sail out on a sea of veiled enmity that was expressed in their alienation from each other.
p.51 - …stay at home twenty-four hours of which every single one was raw torture.
p. 59 - He hated from the depths of his soul whenever she kissed him like that and it took an effort not to shove her away.
p.64 …look at It, look It right in the face look at It and, without doing a thing, suffer inexpressible torment.
p.77 It was all the same. A flicker of hope drowned by a raging sea of despair.
p. 80 - He loathes her with all the power of his heart, and at her touch he is smacked by a gush of surging hatred. The doctor smiled with a condescending tenderness that seemed to say, Well, you know, these people - these sick people - they sometimes think up little absurdities like that; but we must forgive them.
p.82 And Ivan began to moan; he was given an injection, and he was forgotten about.…and again it was all the same; and again the night was encroaching.
p. 87 Until three in the morning he lay in a tormented oblivion.
p.93 “What is this? Don’t I know this is death? An inner voice answered: Yes, you know it.”
p.95 “In inverse proportion to the distance from death squared. And this image of a stone plummeting and picking up speed sunk deep into his heart. Life, that series of increasing torments, flies faster and faster as it nears its end, the most terrifying suffering of all. I’m flying… he shuddered…”

And other favorite fragments, chapter by chapter:
CHAPTER I
p. 11 - “Pyotr heard her ask in great detail about various cemetery plots…” (AT the funeral!)“…It was intolerable. I do not even understand how I withstood it. You could hear him three doors down. Oh, what I’ve been through!” (!)
p. 13 Pyotr asked by Ivan’s wife how she can increase his pension… “She sighed loudly and began obviously working to get rid of him…”

CHAPTER II
p. 18 - “…but from the youngest age he had been drawn, as a bird to the air, toward people in the upper echelons of society, adopting their affect and view of life, and maintaining friendships with many of them. All the preoccupations of childhood and youth dissipated from him without leaving a trace.”
p. 24 - naïve conception of marriage; his wife and her pregnancy interfered with his ordered life…p.25 - Ivan could not understand the birth of his child just as no one could understand his needs in dying.p.27 - delves into and hides in his work.

CHAPTER III
p. 30 - Existential boredom. Looks for a job of 5000 rubles (doesn’t matter where or what… 5000 rubles non-negotiable!)
p. 34 (after the accident) - “I feel that fifteen years have been taken off my head!” How true!
p.37 - (of work) …”it was better than sitting around alone or with his wife.”
p.39 - last line of chapter: “…it was all going terribly well.”

CHAPTER IV
p.43 - Ivan sees first-hand how it feels to be condescended to, the same show he put on in court. …”The doctor said: “This-and-that and such-and-such indicate an et-cetera-and-so-forth inside you; but if my investigations don’t confirm blah-blah-blah and you-get-the-idea, we’ll have to assume so on and so forth. …the doctor ignored his mislaid curiosity…” (again, all appearances!)
p.47 - blaming his ill health on exterior factors (much like today we look for cures from the extior, rather than looking within).
p.48 - “He couldn’t fool himself: something terrifying, new, and more significant than anything else that had ever happened in his life was happening within him.”

VII Enter Gerasim, a peasant.

CHAPTER VIII
p.79 Self-delusion: “…Ivan is persuaded by it, just as he used to be persuaded by the arguments of lawyers whom he knew perfectly well were lying, and whose reasons for lying were no secret.”
p.82 - describes his surroundings; all the old decorations that he spent so much time perfecting… And Ivan began to moan; he was given an injection, and he was forgotten about.
p.83 - "and death disrupting her happiness” (his daughter’s)
“blue circles under his [his son’s] eyes whose significance Ivan knew all too well” - crying. No one else seems to cry for the misery Ivan is going through.
“Except for Gerasim, it seemed to Ivan that Vasya was the only one who understood and felt sorry for him.” Rousseau and pity. It is in young Vasya, but he has not yet been tainted by aristocratic society.

CHAPTER IX
p. 88- Ivan is unable to express his feelings in front of anyone, not even Gerasim… “HE cried for his helplessness, his terrible solitude, for the cruelty of man, the cruelty of God, for God’s absence. What have you done this for? Why have you brought me to this? For what, for what are you torturing me so horribly?”
p. 89 - Reminiscing about his past… “…now turned to something meager, even disgusting.”
p. 90 “Maybe I didn’t live as I should’ve? The thought leapt to his mind. But how could that be, when I did everything I was supposed to? (Appearances! - Recall what Rousseau said about an old man’s only thing to do… (how to die)).

CHAPTER X
p.93 “What is this? Don’t I know this is death? An inner voice answered: Yes, you know it.”
p.95 “In inverse proportion to the distance from death squared. And this image of a stone plummeting and picking up speed sunk deep into his heart. Life, that series of increasing torments, flies faster and faster as it nears its end, the most terrifying suffering of all. I’m flying… he shuddered…”
p.96 - “If only I could understand what this is all for! But that is impossible too. I could explain it all if I hadn’t lived as meticulously as I should have. But there is no way of comprehending this, he said to himself, thinking of all the rules, proprieties, and decencies of his life. There’s really no way to admit to that, he said, drawing his lips into a smile as though anyone might see him and be deceived. There’s no explanation! Torture, death . . . for what?”

CHAPTER XI
p.97 - “She did not manage to finish what she had started saying: such was the rage articulated in his glare, and directed precisely at her. “For Christ’s sake, let me die in peace,” he said.
p.99 - “It occurred to him that those scarcely detected impulses to struggle against what the people of highest social rank considered good, those feeble tendencies that he barely noticed and immediately suppressed, might in fact be what was real, and everything else what was false.”
… “all of it a monstrous and immense deceit foreclosing both life and death.”
p.105 - “Anyhow, what’s the point of talking, one must act.”
His final lesson.